Spirituality versus Depression

Depression, Addiction, and Spirituality

Spiritual people may struggle with different types of addiction. They may experience depression, with some episodes more severe than others. One of the most interesting aspects is the recognition that prior, or within the depression, many of them were rather disciplined, and in control of things and life events. They were often “succeeding”. We also hear of the “functional alcoholic”, who functions quite well most of the time. This is also a reminder to me, that before and during my own experience, I was often optimistic with a strong sense of accomplishment. I believed in my ability to achieve, but when in significant depression, it was very difficult to keep this sense within me.

Is it possible that the initial cause of depression in the first place, has to do with a very high expectation for oneself? The expectations that may be imposed externally, about being spiritually “good”, or being “perfect in God’s presence”.  Spirituality, seems to be about finding the essential self within – the presence of God. The only way to come to God though, seems to be to accept the way we essentially are. If we are anything else, we will only end up dishonoring God. Spirituality is God’s invitation to us in all aspects of who we are. Spirituality is that space that allows us to just be, and be ok with who we are. It negates any attempt to be what the society wants us to be. It negates any attempt to find the high in the spiritual experience. It “is what it is.” It is not going out looking for God and proving yourself to God. It is in knowing that God is in the very “isness” of us.

This leads to a question. Is it possible that certain understandings of spirituality can lead to depression and, or, addiction and not the other way around? Personally while I see that it is possible that pondering spiritual ideas can lead to depression, it is equally possible that the opposite is true. “Depression experience” can also be a central part of the spiritual path. Some say we must go through a Dark Night of the Soul to attain spiritual growth, and that it is wrong to see depression as somehow negating our spiritual growth. “Happy times” are not necessarily the most growth producing.

I led a disciplined life as a monk in my twenties, but have since found that depression caused more changes in my actual behavior than disciplined spiritual practice ever did. It seems that what we become as a result of facing the dark times is due to the transformational. Perhaps “normal” people can go about their lives pretending everything is fine; I can’t. We are faced with conditions or disorders that grab our attention, and will kill us if we do not take action and turn it into our advantage. Seeing the advantage, can give the insight to use every tool at ones disposal to turn a “curse” to benefit.

Spirituality is a topic of increasing interest to clinicians, but there is a diversity and lack of clarity of understanding. Conceptual components of spirituality include “relatedness, transcendence, meaning or purpose, wholeness, and consciousness”. This is in opposition to “moroseness, uselessness, lack of energy, inability to sleep, and a poor attitude toward life in general”. (Among other symptoms of depression).

According to recent statistics, depression, is practically an epidemic, with over 70 million people suffering from its affects. Thus we want more spirituality and less depression? More happiness, ingenuity, energy, and ability to reach a higher potential in life?

Some very talented people struggle with different types of depression or addiction. Some committed churchgoers or practitioners of religions, and even monks or priests struggle also. Generally it’s hard to tell whether depression comes first or the addictive or compulsive behaviours. So, sometimes a person who is very capable, organised and has a strong sense of morality, may succumb to addiction as well as depression. There is a view that oversensitive persons who seek perfection in many areas may be easily subject to negative moods, when they believe they haven’t performed or achieved whatever it is they are supposed to.

It can be worse for someone who believes they have found some source of mystical belief, and has had an experience of God or a higher power. Then addiction and depression can feel like, or seem like, a fall from grace, an idea or belief itself which can compound the problem. In another perspective we could say that addictions or depression may drive the search for truth and sanity, and lead to spiritual practice or religious participation. Some religions say that we will become perfected beings, (eventually!).  Whoever is writing or whatever the Scripture, there seems to be an exhortation to hold onto faith, as that will lead us onwards and upwards, and out of our mess. Whether that’s true or not is something else. Faith may just be a support to hang on to, or spirituality may be a hope giver, and purpose or context provider.

There is an issue about the difference between religion and spirituality, and whether one or the other is more likely to help cure, or from another opposite perspective, to cause problems. 

In depression there is poverty of mood, and the lure of something which gives a mood burst is very tempting. Nobody wants to feel dead, even if in the depression one can want to be that. The addict gets momentarily times of feeling not just alive, but super alive, only to plunge down in the comedown. In addictions, at some point, there can be moments when one feels the presence of a higher reality. Then there is some hope, because when this is truly felt, there is an immediate sense of relief, albeit temporarily. It may be then, that dark sadness heralds a drive to find meaning and to go past the sense of loss of pleasure, disenchantment, and avoidance of activities of life.

Even for many health professionals the whole area of spirituality and religion seems to be a somewhat empty vista, even a foreboding or forbidden territory. We have to wonder why this I,s and what it is that affects even health professionals, and may even give cause us to skirt around this territory. One can come up with a lot of reasons of course. Look at the history of religion and the pain it caused. Look at spirituality focused practices, and see how fundamentalist some people have become even without a religion. So the search for meaning in life could be associated with a higher degree of malady. The keyword here though is – associated. It seems one has to find one’s own meaning in this paradox. 

There sometimes seems to be no reason to be here, apart from getting brief periods of pleasure artificially. Therefore having a purpose and reason to be here is a protective factor, and it may help considerably in prevention of self-harm and suicide. Religious and spiritual treatises, tell us that we will achieve afterlife as a result of healthy activities, and that deliberate termination of life may cause problems with these processes. As a result of suicide we might not go to heaven. Or if we believe in future lifetimes rebirth, we may have to come back to start the whole process over again, and re-experience our problems. There is also the issue of what we are thinking about at the time of death. If this is dark black material we may find ourselves in a dark black space.

Why do people on their deathbed suddenly feel the fear of God, suddenly see the light, and get the blessings? The spiritual teachers exhort us to turn to our Lord, our Divinity, and take up some meditation practice or worship and pray. The power of the divine name is much vaunted, as is self-surrender, and faith that your guide will always present to you with the requisite guidance.

Problems themselves in life do sometimes seem to have a purpose. If we live long enough to look back over lengthy periods, we may say, “well that caused me a lot of pain and I’ve learnt so much more. I became so much stronger and more capable”. There is always a test when going through difficulties, sufferings or just daily business. There does however seem to be a purpose, just as in going to school as a child gets more ready for life, and learns perspective as well as knowledge. All the other growing up things that we experience make us into a “well adjusted” adult – one hopes!