Householder to monk

There is an upheaval that occurs when major life transition commences. Be it sexual identity, political allegiance, of religious affiliation. Or spiritual.  

The transition from householder to monk is another transition that seems less discussed in the West. However in traditional Hinduism every one almost was supposed to do this according to their scriptures. It is prescribed in treatises about the rules of Dharma – social law/etiquette/function. Its: “an individual’s duty fulfilled by observance of custom or law”. This practice has been accepted in theory for eons. One starts out in the first segment of life as a celibate student or Brahmachari. Then one becomes a Grihasta – householder. Then Varnaprasta – forest dweller who leave civilization behind & lives with the bare minimum necessities. Then Sannyas – where one only lives on alms & has no other requirements such as a place to live, clothing etc. The other so-called necessities become options, as in: if they are given or available – so be it. If not – too bad! The Sannyasin is only required to maintain the body by food & water until it dies, but generally does wear some ochre orange robes & can have a bowl & a few other items. Historically the monk would wander from place to place but was allow to stay, in an ashram for instance, during the rainy season. The red color robes signify that the body has been “fired” & is already considered dead in as far as worldly associations are concerned.  There is no purpose left to engender prolonging of life other than not dying before one’s allotted time. Therefore suicide is not acceptable as one has to live out the remnant results of ones Karma – called Prarabdha. It is a life of pure indifference. Anything given by supporters or helpers is usually seen as acceptable, including medicines & some comforts.

            Now we have a situation where quite few sannyasins have become famous, not just in the West, but have a huge following in India. They accrue large ashrams & facilities, or have their castles & Rolls Royce’s! They are the well know gurus who are actually monks, but have become rich & famous.

Becoming a monk or sannyasin is the result of an upheaval. A change in values & perspectives regarding the life lives. It may be driven by a trauma of life events or some may say, a chronic depression. It is not usually undertaken lightly as it is a king of “death sentence”, given that one is choosing to die from the world. In India mosts the status of renunciates was revered as being at the highest level of human attainment. This has become less so, but the presence & teachings of such monastic human has always been a drawcard for many, who may be inclined personally towards monasticism & retreat in some way. We all want at times to “get away from it all”. The ravages of stress, depression & anxiety, & trauma drive many to seek a better way or some escape. This can become ingrained & can be a prime driver of the spiritual seeking, the search for true meaning. Then for some all the “goodies” in the form of followers & patrons can tip the balance back into the field of being a human who sees that desires can be fulfilled & impressively so. The swami become a a star or celebrity in his ownmind & this all the dark human traits can re-emerge.

 So, to be a true renunciate, the journey of the life of desire & want must truly be extinguished. There must be a full yearning to exist as the divine, in contentment with knowing ones true self, which need nothing more. Them it’s about Being, the state of self-realization, that surpasses all human life & experience. The attachments & bond to all & sundry fade away, not pushed away, they just go. It’s not depression, although a deep sadness can prevail. That life has not turned out to be much fun. That life has given the wonderful relationships it promised. That the houses & cars, do not give the pleasure & contentment promised. It is in fact just seeing the Truth. What it really is all about – this transient human existence. And, wanting something better!

All of the above regarding “name & fame” of sannyasin gurus is probably a bit of a diversion, but is never what it seems to be. This is true in the ordinary world. This is true also in the world of religious institutions & then translated over to the world of spiritual groups, cults, or sects. Just be aware of the Reality which transcends even spirituality.

The problem (with radical change)

The problem, (with radical change), is that it may seem impossible. It may be impossible. Reality always tries to take over. The reality is a human inability to move past ego-based life & consciousness, (no matter how much spiritual endeavor has occurred). Sounds gloomy? It is rather, but then so is life & death, or as I prefer, Life & the Universe. The promise of moving into ones True State, is unlimited bliss. The promise of life is fun, being rich & famous, sex ‘n drugs ‘n rock ‘n roll – etc. Take you pick, but everyone is eventually channeled through the learning experiences of life. (Mostly suffering!). There are ways to lessen the suffering just as opiates lessen pain, but are not a final solution. I have turned to gurus, devotional practice, mantras & meditation. I have been on pilgrimages & lived in ashrams. I still do this, (virtually). I always come back to my mantras with a devotional prayer type slant, & this keeps me going, & the process of change going. There have been no miracles as far a quick fixes are concerned.

I have had to dispose of anger, hatred, disappointment & being “hard done by”. I am seeing the destruction of all that, & what I was attached to. I facilitated this process by turning to the Goddess in the form of Badraakali – the fierce Kali, the Goddess of Destruction. In India in Bengal, Kali is a most popular deity. Bengal has the big city of Calcutta with its teeming slums & extensive of poverty. It is also a land with a history of loss & destruction, with, for instance, millions dying of starvation during th e time of the British Raj. Where Kali is worshiped there is an acceptance sought, of the divinity of destruction, & and the ensuing regrowth, rebirth & spiritual serenity. Understanding the destruction inherent in all life is the key to equanimity & fast self-realization.  Furthermore it’s really about what happens next, what is our True Nature, our own divinity within chaos. Next is new life, progress spiritually, & going beyond the Samsara cycle of life & death. Life & the Universe is both transcended & recognized in it true nature beyond Maya. Beyond ego-identity.   

I found as I release my regrets & losses of nearly 50 years since leaving a sannyasi role, in India, how anger I was at having nothing to take forward. All to be left behind. Like a death while living! All illusory memories, & experiences, & highlights of achievement. All suffering however! Hence time to regain or re-accept my spiritual being as the Truth. In old age the next “career move” is death! Retirement is not fun as we try to make it to be – it’s a disaster! (Unless one turns to the spiritual dimension). Remember – the rest homes hover in the background!

However o loss of position in life, accompanied with a return to some degree of monasticism is a solace, & a new adventure, which can lead to a raised status in society. (Especially so in some Asian countries). One can serve others a wise sage. It’s true that this change, like any major change in life circumstance, can bring forth, angst, grief, & even some confusion.

The challenge for me is to return to where I left of on my departure from India. A sadhu holy- man living in a hut in a isolated area of India. It entailed the abandonment of the holy ochre robes, & high status a swami/sannyasin.

Back to Yogi-Monastic

Why did I leave India & my role as a swami & sadhu, (holy-man)? Was it boredom as I thought it was? Or did I want to resume a life of sex n drugs n rock n roll? I did in 1976, resume a life of seeking girl-friends, partying with alcohol, & going to music events. After all I was 28 & had missed out on few of my youth years, due to being a monk for 10 years. In retrospect I wasn’t ready for a full life-time of renunciation. I had “things to do”. I went on then to have a career as a mental health professional, married & had children, I did not become interested in a return to monasticism for 30 years, although my thought. had become increasingly interested well before that. My spiritual practice by then was becoming much more focused & deliberated, (more out of suffering & desperation than a purifying of ideals).

            In returning to the feeling inside, or mentally/spiritually, to where I left off in India, I am a bit astonished to see that my abandonment of the ochre robes seems to have happened due to a need for “distraction”. I was still, then, fearful & anxious. This was in spite of my lengthy time in secluded spots, vegetarian diet, & non participation in anything toxic, (which meant not having any “fun”). I was not really peaceful or blissful, inside at my core being. Peaceful on the outside as I had no distractions. This fear, anxiety & low mood was my core personality experience & being a monk did not resolve that. I thus could not enjoy or obtain satisfaction from my monastic life. Strange? Maybe.

            I had not cracked the core problem of all human life, which is fearfulness emanating from the fields of ego-identification. We think & feel we are such & such an identity & thus struggle to survive in a state of (often unrecognized), fearfulness. It normal though, as we had this from cave man times & are still geared to “fight or flight”. Hence anxiety is a norm but has seemed to become more of an increasing mental health issue. All this stuff inside ourselves is repressed a lot of the time in modern life, because we have such much opportunity to distract ourselves. Look at what the use of electronic devices, like cell phones, is doing. Distracting, yes. Reducing stress & tension & anxiety. Hell no! Our distractions are endless: Interests, hobbies, families, relationships, & sex of course. And alcohol/drugs of course. They all do work up to a point, & relationships always endure. Even in the monastic life there will be relationships, which move into a more spiritual dimension.

             At some point everyone, theoretically, or anyone will learn enough through human experience & say enough, get me out of here. Even when we “get out of here”, we are left with the underlying baseline human fear & anxiety, (which can also seem like a low mood). It’s a fundamental spiritual block. The last wall. We may not be able to get over it, at a certain point in time, & hence may return to the life of distractions. Then our addictions, compulsions & obsessions could be given free rein. This is a perplexing paradox that seems to make no sense. However the spiritual awakening to Truth may challenge the ego to fight back, which gives rise to counterproductive behaviors. A sort of defense mechanism of the ego. “I refuse to let go of my precious identity, even though it’s killing me, so I will reinforce it through behaviors”. Behaviors that negative in reality but seem productive to the desperate ego. (Such as harmful alcohol/drug use). The deep spiritual practice can unlock the deep hidden craziness!

            The movement back to monasticism bring about mental ideas regarding diet, dress, habitation etc. I think about wearing ochre, although does it have to be robes? Robes were what was available in the distant past, as the availability of sewed of garments in say, India, was limited. So theoretically, it doesn’t matter if the wraparound cloth becomes trousers or shirt, as they are actually more available in the desired colors than sheets of material suitable for the dhoti – wrap around cloth. Preference for vegetarian food becomes naturally, but the most important issue is habitat. Where & how does one live in monastic style? Availability of monasteries & ashrams in the West is miniscule compared to that in India. Also a monk in India can more or less just sit down anywhere & be accepted by the locals. Then climate means even under-tree dwelling id doable. They inclination is to have a somewhat reclusive space where meditation is natural, & where others around one are at least conducive to the yogis space. Ideal living with only those who are supportive of & facilitative of the monastic processes. May not be available currently as in my case my facility is within family sharing space with adult children. To be “homeless” & also relatively penniless, (except for a pension), means that any radical habitat change may well defeat the purpose of having a serene & peaceful place to sit. Then there is the need to search for & find & get established in such a suitable ashram like space. Which may or may not happen. For me then, it was better to stay “as is” & work around the habitat issue, for a temporary fix.

            My situation was being in a household & married (for many years). How to transition to externally represent where I was internally? I feel that being destructive is not a good way to achieve ongoing spiritual journey needs. So promoting change subtly & allowing a process to occur naturally seemed the way to go. Allowing the future to take care of itself. Otherwise, why sacrifice serenity to achieve objectives, when the stat of monasticism includes clearly no more (earthly), objectives?

            The ochre robes are unnecessary as they do not guarantee that the wearer will be or become Enlightened. On enlightenment attainment it may well be that there is s drive to change outward appearances & behaviors. Not for public appreciation or approbation however. There is a natural process, a “falling away” of what was, where the wind comes & blows somethings away & brings in new environments for instance. This Divine activity, based on the Divine Realization, is the means whereby all addictions, obsessions, & delusional activity, simply fades into the background. It all still there as long as the human form exists. We are as humans driven by ancient & long standing fears which reside as the “fight & Flight” response, for instance. Fear driven behaviors in response to the core need for survival, leads to anxiety, & depression, when these antiquated reactivity’s are overstimulated in our modern society. Really all we seek is firstly the basics for survival, but then we go on to seek comfort, & hen pleasure, combined with the need for release from our still present anxiety & depression. Then we hit on drug, alcohol, sex for pleasure etc. The enlightened being may still do activities that were ingrained & habitual, but they are receding, because they done have purpose anymore. It’s nothing to do with right & wrong, or rather healthy & unhealthy behavior. All of that is in the domain of everyday humanity &/or religious norms. Thus this could mean in modern time activities like driving, texting, googling, fishing, (maybe). All the “ings”. They are all in this Maya spectrum of illusory-ness, but we hold onto them dearly. The Spiritually enlightened being doesn’t have that attachment anymore. That’s the difference!

            Apart from core fear, at the root of all human existence, there is one other problem faced when becoming a renunciate yogi or moving towards monastic activities. That is suffering. Yes, I have written about the individual soul as Atman, which is Sat, Chit, Ananda – existence, knowledge, bliss. The advanced spiritual practitioner lives directly connect to this force as a blissful experience, which is its own state of meditative blissfulness. However the body, mind, & all cosmic strata, remain, even if the personal position becomes more & more that of being “the witness”. There remains an awareness & experience therefore of the suffering of one’s body, mind & that of humanity. (Wars, pandemics, famines, terrorism – the list goes on). This is unpleasant. This is what drives the urge to be distracted, to be sedated by addictive substances & behaviors, & to be generally pleasured by sense objects.

            The problem I had in India as a monk, & one I have returned to as I became more monastic in outlook. Thus the enlightened one cannot have ego regarding, “I have this & that”, because “this & that” is all suffering. What then can one do to be still in the body & experience Life & the Universe, & yet not be distracted away from the innate bliss of the Divine?

            There is the mantra – ones mantra/s. The mantra not only leads to the enlightenment states & levels, but also allows transcendence of Maya, the Cosmic Illusion, & Samsara, the cycle of birth & life. Life & the Universe in other words! The mantra can be the sound of Maya as well as the sound of the formless Divinity. Some mantras in the Tantric or Shakta tradition are very much designed to take one over the sea of mortality, & cut a way through the delusions & illusions of, so called, society.

            Thus the yogi, advanced practitioner, or even renunciate monk, can go around the pitfalls of Maya, elements of which are still strong even at level 6 & 7 of practice. This engagement with our world & body mind, even if not welcome anymore, gives rise to a constant “itch”, which is the awareness of suffering. This suffering is personal & global also, as the world events of wars, pandemic, terrorism etc. all have an impact. (Especially if one has contact with “the news”). Manta is a solution at both beginner & senior level of practice, although different mantras will be required. The provision of such initiation is the domain of the Transcendental Guru, (which is the title of my other new book). It is also possible to receive the initiation into new mantras directly from ones Deity through Grace.

 I have received mantras via live Gurus, & now, seeking to turn away again from Maya towards monasticism, am receiving guidance directly from my Deity – a form of the Goddess as Tara Devi. I have written in detail about this Grace Transmission process in my other books. (See Om Divine Grace).

Sex n Drugs n Rock n Roll – what a problem!

Sex n Drugs n Rock n Roll – what a problem! That’s right isn’t it? Actually – not really. It all about senses meeting their sense objects. Hearing, touch, taste, smell, & sight. Just normal human faculties. Nothing wrong. No sin or morals involved – unless you are religious. However what about the issue for the spiritual practitioner? Isn’t a holy & pure life recommended & needed? Again – not really. What if you have an addiction or a mental health problem, which seriously disrupts your serenity? Well, yes its good to get treatment, but they should not be an obstacle apart from dealing with destructive excesses of behavior, (which again is a human issue – not a spiritual one).  A person with a psychotic disorder can still go to a church & get Holy Communion or go to a temple for darshan, (seeing the Deity image). Religion is doable, so why not spiritual practice? You can still try to meditate, &certainly the mantra repetition can continue. That’s what I did through all my “sinful & immoral” behaviors, & all my depressions, addictions & compulsive behaviors. (Just being human you know). Doesn’t change or stop anything. It’s all just “par for the course”, this being human & yet trying to get a spiritual foothold into the higher dimensions. We are Divine beings in essence, & we are very human when we are at that level, (below level 6), of our spiritual development. When we go to our Higher Rooms we just don’t want to do the old suffering, (which used to appear to be pleasurable). We grow up! Its not about being good or doing good deeds. It’s not about gaining “currency” for our journey to the heaven we have set up in our heads. Heaven is ok of course – better than hell!. Not however the goal for one seeking the move out of the samsara of births & deaths. Heaven will cease & a human birth assumed again. (For those who believe in reincarnation).