Part 1 of Chap. 2

Chapter 2

Englishman to monk in 1966

When I arrived in In India in 1966, I had spent nearly a year on the “overland trail” from England to Kathmandu. I was a beatniks & used whatever drugs I could access, being primarily cannabis. I had no religious or spiritual inclinations, but was badly in need of some rehab. That changed in India & I rapidly became interested in having some sort of spiritual life. I had a vague interest in Buddhist type meditation & yoga practices, but no interest in the religious components of Hinduism. I quite quickly came to the idea of having a guru, mainly due to the Westerners that I met en-route , who had already embarked on this journey.

When I reached Delhi, after several days travel from Bombay, I headed for a Sikh temple where they had some guest rooms. I had been told I could stay a few days and receive simple food and accommodation free. I learnt that ashrams and mainly Hindu spiritual refuges of all sizes and sectarian types were dotted in their hundreds of thousands all over India. Increasing numbers of travelers from the sixties to the seventies made India their home for a longer time than they had intended. Then in the seventies, many thousands were to arrive and become disciples of various gurus. Mother India lived up to her name by providing the necessities of life for those who landed on her doorstep.

I was on the brink of losing myself into the folds of India and, especially, Hindu life. I still had an ides the reach the “hippie world-center – Katmandu, but decided to visit the holy centers of Hinduism at Rishikesh and Haridwar on the river Ganges. I never got to Katmandu & never expected to spend 10 years in India. I gave up drugs, became vegetarian & then a sannyasin – holy-man. It felt quite natural at the time.

Walking to the outskirts of Delhi left me hot, tired and hungry. I wandered into a “park” for a rest in the shade. It was a Hindu cremation ground and was occupied by a couple of holy-men, (sadhus), who had thatch huts there. They beckoned me to sit down beside a smoldering outdoor log fire, & drink tea.

A few people were to visiting these sadhus, with their ash smeared, semi-nakedness &  matted hair. One of the visitors invited me his house for a meal and I ended up staying a week. I was introduced to a shaven headed, orange robed sannyasin, known as Swamiji..

I learnt quite a lot about his lifestyle, & he belonged to the holy orders following the Vedanta tradition and believed in the teachings of the Hindu scriptures from the post Vedic period. These scriptures, such as the Upanishads and some commentaries on the Bhagavat Gita, teach that the world is unreal, that the individual soul is no different from the cosmic soul, and that the way to self-realization or liberation lies through renunciation. Swamiji lived a fairly austere life in that he refrained from intoxicants, sex, and “luxuries”, such as sleeping on a mattress. However, I gathered that he did well wherever he went, and he received much respect, as people would bow down and touch his feet. I noticed that visitors who came to see him, used to place plenty of rupee notes at his feet.

Although many sannyasins are Vedantis and worship the formless soul, nearly all of them worship the gods and goddesses. Shiva is a much favored deity. Vedantis believe in a formless Absolute which is Sat-Chit-Anand, (Existence-Knowledge^,-Bliss). However, nearly all the ashrams have temples devoted to one or more of the Hindu pantheon, or an image of their Guru. The contradiction of philosophy is that the practice of meditation on the formless inner self goes hand in hand with the outward worship of deities and gurus. The outer worship purifies the mind and makes possible the difficult achievement of inward concentration. Vedanta is then a somewhat theoretical philosophy.

I plunged in at the deep end when I arrived in one of India’s holiest towns – Haridwar at the foot of the Himalayas and on the Ganges. Haridwar is connected with Rishikesh, a few miles upstream. This is the place that gained some international recognition when the Beatles went there to see Mahesh Yogi the founder of the Transcendental Meditation (T.M.) groups around the world. Both Haridwar and Rishikesh are crowded with temples, & ashrams of all shapes, sizes, and followings. The area teems with sannyasins, sadhus, pilgrims and devotees. Many people pass through here on their way north to major pilgrimage centers deep in the Himalaya. The route northwards to the source of the Ganges used to be by foot only from Rishikesh

ow and then there is some mass panic and several get killed.

I sat with some sadhuss who lived under trees by the banks of the Ganges. They fed me sweets with tea. The chillum pipes I smoked there were to be my last doses of cannabis, except for a few polite “puffs” on rare occasions later. My next stop was Rishikesh and the well-known Shivananda Ashram, the home of serious minded swamis and many Western devotees. Swami Shivananda who set up this ashram had become well known in India and overseas, mainly through his prolific publications, which were all available in English. He had died some years before I reached his ashram – or rather he had “left his mortal coil”. I was given a room without furniture except a string bed, and provision was made for meals to be brought to me. I was expected to participate in the programme. Indeed I attended the early morning yoga exercise classes and meditated in the shrine of Swami Shivananda, called a samadhi, a word synonymous with the state of trance obtained in meditation.

Most Hindus are cremated, but the yogis and gurus, are often buried, with their bodies placed in the lotus posture. Some sages in India have actually chosen their date of death, and have died whilst in trance, seated in the lotus posture. Others have been placed like this by their devotees and disciples. The burial takes place with .much religious fervor.

I had learnt to fold my palms in supplication when entering temples. As well as this, I knew that one was supposed to have had a bath and put on clean clothing before entering such places. I quite happily went along with all of this ceremony as I found Hindu ritualistic practices quite interesting. However, I did not believe that much spiritual benefit could be gained by following the Hindu rules and regulations. My interest was mainly in meditation. I wanted to know all about the means whereby one was supposed to achieve nirvana or moksha, (freedom from the cycle of births and earthly suffering).

I had traveled a long time not knowing what I was looking for. Now I felt that all my travels and wanderings would be useless if I did not stop and work towards achieving a degree of inner awareness or self-knowledge. I was quite prepared then to give up or change anything of my lifestyle or personality in order to attain what I felt I needed. I was ready to embark on a course of rigorous self-discipline if necessary. I wanted, more than I had ever wanted in my life, to achieve a level of deep spiritual insight – to become a yogi with mental and physical control over my life. Also I was exhausted mentally & especially physically from the rigors of my travels without money & of course from drug use.

I went to the ashram ofMaharishi, (“great sage”), Mahesh Yogi on the opposite bank of the Ganges from Rishikesh. I think this was around the time the Beatles became interested in him, but before his “career” really took off in the West. There was no one in residence except for a manage, so I moved on

Since arriving in Rishikesh I had begun to sit in meditation and do yoga exercises early each morning and at sunset. I was finding it difficult to concentrate either because of mosquitoes or because of my own fidgeting. To sit even cross legged then was painful after about ten minutes. I despaired of achieving anything like the six hours daily that yogis were supposed to spend in the lotus posture. I thought that if I moved into the foothills of the Himalayas, I would be able to escape some of the heat and perhaps be able to concentrate better.

I went next to the town of Dehra Dun, afew hours journey from Rishikesh. I had heard of this ashram & that the swami who lived there spoke excellent English and had a European disciple. It was Shri Swargapuri Ashram. & the guru was Shri 108 Swami Chaitanya Prakash Ananda Tirth Maharaj, M.A. Vedanta Archarya, (plus a few more qualifications)! To complicated to explain here!

The whole business of names of holy men is complicated by the use of other honorific titles bestowed on them. I became eventually a paramhamsa (great swan). A Paramhansa is is able to float on the pool of worldly desires and temptations without sinking. Or, like the mythological swan who separates milk from water, a sage who can separate the good essence of life from the dross.

First Guru

I walked into the ashram & sat on the edge of swamijis platform, which horrified the audience, as only holy men of equal standing to the swami were supposed to do that sort of thing. I was ushered me to a place on the floor After nearly all the devotees had gone, the swami began to speak to me in very good English. He asked me if I wished to stay for a few days, or months, or even years. I explained that I was interested in finding a guru who could teach me yoga and meditation, but that I did not have all that much interest in Hindu ritualism. He replied that my chosen methods were indeed a way of attaining samadhi, or union with divine consciousness. However, he said that I needed to learn about the other “paths” of bhakti yoga, (devotional observances), and karma^, yoga (selfless service). He said for most people a combination of methods was the only successful way. He also pointed out that to get anywhere in sadhana one needed the guidance of a Sat, or True, Guru – a self-realised soul who could trigger the necessary changes. Swamiji did not hesitate to tell me that he had a double M.A. in Sanskrit and Philosophy as well as a host of scriptural qualifications from the Hindu University in Varanasi.

I was quite impressed by this swami, as he seemed to have the right qualifications and knowledge of every aspect of Hinduism, combined with a good degree of Western education. I did find out that was a very orthodox sannyasin who followed scriptural rules. I was given a small hut in which to live. (All the details are in my book: Englishman – Beggar Man – Holy Man). The food I received was very simple and consisted of a main meal at midday of rotis, dhal and vegetables; with sometimes a snack in the evening.

I found that swamiji lived in a fairly affluent style and that this was the norm for a swami of any public standing in India. The monk’s life of austere simplicity, wandering with begging bowl in hand was practiced by choice by few educated swamis. I was given some white cotton cloth to around my waist & one draped around my shoulders. For underwear I was given some strips of cloth. My day began at about 4 a.m., which was the time to get up and go off to the fields for toilet purposes. That was common for many then.

For most of the year, the early hours of the day were the only bearable ones. After ten o’clock, or earlier in summer, it was best not to venture out into the heat and walk unless necessary. When I first started to meditate, I found the whole experience very painful, mainly on account of the difficulty I felt sitting cross legged for any length of time. After sitting still for about five minutes my legs would begin firstly to ache mildly and then to send out signals of great pain. I felt that I had to sit as still as a rock to meditate and I found my lack of body flexibility very frustrating. I took to practicing yoga asanas, (postures) twice daily and began to achieve a degree of suppleness in my limbs. It took me a few months before I could sit for half an hour in reasonable comfort, but much longer to achieve the lotus posture for even a short time. The lotus posture or padmasana is the recommended pose for all serious yogis as it makes possible an upright and straight spinal rigidity, which in turn helps the mind to be freed from bodily distractions. It took me about a year to achieve a comfortable padmasana, and several years before I could sit still for three hours at a stretch. I always sat & slept on the floor, (with no pillow). I also went barefoot. I always felt hungry, no matter how many rotis I had eaten. Consequently my appetite was like an all-consuming furnace, and I spent a lot of time dreaming of eating sweets and rich foods. When I did manage to overcome sleepiness and thoughts about food, I often slipped into dreamy states and visualized all sorts of things totally unconnected with my new found spiritual life.

I imagined scenes in which cowboys and Red Indians fought battles similar to ones I had seen in films as a boy. I visualized pubs, musical groups, family scenes and events from the past, often with great vividness and appropriate colors. From talking to swamiji and reading yoga treatises I learnt that this mental activity was quite normal for the beginner, and was a cleansing phenomenon, because the memory facilities were being stimulated, by meditation. When a lot of the mind’s subconscious material had been “released”, then I found that I could meditate without thoughts and visions from this inner level, unless I chose to focus on something in particular.

I was initiated into mantras by swamiji. Mantras as described, are words which have a sacred and spiritual significance. I was told that the quickest way to self-realization and mental stillness was by repeating the mantras as frequently as possible until they became automatic. The repetition, or japa, would concentrate the mind, diverting it inwards from the outer world. When the mind became free from all thought patterns and only the mantra japa remained, then awareness of the inner peace and bliss would surface, as it were, and replace the different mental moods with an all-enveloping calmness. Anxious to achieve results as quickly as I could, I began to repeat my sacred words over and over endlessly throughout the day. For the purposes of this japa, I was given some malas, or rosaries.Having been initiated into the mysteries of meditation and yoga, I was given a Hindu name during a special fire ceremony. I became Ram Prakash, the “light of Rama” and thus a disciple of my first guru.

I began over the next few months to enter into a regular programme of serious meditation, japa, yoga, and study. Any spare time I spent helping in the gardens or in the three ashram temples. A few hours a day were also allocated to listening to swamiji’s lectures in Hindi. Along with my meditation, japa and studies, (mainly in Vedanta and the Upanishads), I was learning temple lore, and gaining insight into the path of bhakti. I learnt how to clean and prepare the temples and how to offer the flowers, incense and other materials whilst uttering the correct Sanskrit incantations. I began to learn hymns and excerpts from the Bhagavat Gita in relatively simple Sanskrit, (once I had learned to read the Devanagari script). Within a year I was able to perform the complete temple service for the three small temples and began to do so on my own, to the astonishment of the local devotees who came to worship.

In my studies of the Hindu culture I became intrigued by the complexities and diversities of its past and present growth. To me, the most baffling aspect was, and still is, the combination of Vedic ritual, image or deity worship and the Advaita Vedanta and Yoga philosophies. All these major aspects contradict each other in many ways, sometimes going in totally opposite directions. The Vedic culture is supposedly “imported” by early Aryan invaders from the direction of Persia and southern Russia, centuries before the birth of Christ. It contains the practices and beliefs of a community, which lived a nomadic existence, dependent mainly on cattle for their livelihood, and to a much lesser extent on agricultural products. With its rituals and sacrifices to gods “in heaven”, it had none of the idol worship. The Vedic Brahmins had gods of sun or Mitra, air or Indra, and fire or Agni. They had sacrifice or yagna using oblations into the sacred fire, that they hoped would bring them wealth in cattle and grain, and success in battle. They undoubtedly ate beef and drank potent liquor and seemed to be unaware until later times of the practices of meditation and yoga. Their sacred hymns were passed down verbally in an ancient form of Sanskrit and even today are incanted word perfect by orthodox Brahmin priests to accompany temple and other rituals.

It seems, as the historians would have us believe, that the Vedic herdsmen came into contact with a native Indian culture; which had some tradition of guru and idol worship, as well as a knowledge of an “inner spirituality. The white skinned Aryans intermingled with the dark Dravidians until only few “pure” carriers of the traditional Vedic lore remained. These few formed perhaps the backbone and ancestry of the modern Hindu Brahmins, who preach that the Vedas are Hinduism’s founding true past. Although Hindus look with great reverence on “their” Vedic history, in actual practice today’s Hinduism owes perhaps more to the indigenous beliefs and religion that must have been present in India before the advent of the Aryans.(Just my perspective!).

It was not until the end of the Vedic period that the Upanishads, with their philosophy of renunciation and introspection were written. This later scriptural wealth seems to have been influenced by a very indigenous and non-Aryan culture. The inner spiritual quest was possibly a legacy of the land in which the Aryans arrived, as it was not easily identifiable as being part of their culture as contained within the Vedic literature of sacrificial works. The Upanishads expound a philosophy at opposite poles to that of ritualism, sacrifice, and prayers for prosperity, and state that no real happiness can be obtained by following Vedic injunctions for the promulgation of wealth and material benefits. Vedanta (or the “end” of the Vedas), is thus the system which even is “anti” the Vedic gods. However, devotion to one’s guru (and in later works to one’s chosen deity), is strongly advocated in Vedanta treatises as a means towards gaining self-realization. It is also accepted however that Advaita is the ultimate philosophy only for those who have purified themselves in the practices of bhakti, yoga or selfless actions.

It could seem as if I allowed myself to be completely brain – washed for a very lengthy period of my life. At the time I felt that my English “self” was a handicap, which got in the way of achieving the type of experience that I wanted. Then, I needed to become a new and different.