England

I decided after my return to England to continue with some connection to my guru, Swami Muktananda and the Siddha Yoga group. I have written about Siddha Yoga in previous books. (Basically it’s about being “Perfected in Spiritual Practice”). I kept up with them for about 15 years very sporadically without any real connection, and no personal contact with my guru.

I did once go in New Zealand to see a talk by the new guru of his establishment, Guru Mayi, who became known as the Hollywood guru. She developed some serious real estate in America, including a university campus. (Turned into a Siddha Yoga center). Otherwise my connection with India and my spiritual identity there was mostly over.

I had spent the last three years of my time in India mostly sitting in a hut in the middle of nowhere, thinking about little in particular. At some point, I pondered over my experiences with all the gurus and the monk lifestyle, and came to the conclusion that I had a different type of life experience awaiting me in the West. This was in New Zealand, where I have spent the last forty years. Perhaps the time was not right for me to be a holy man and renunciate of life forever. I had returned to my starting point London at the age of 28, and I’m now writing in my 70’s.

In 1977 became a student psychiatric nurse and qualified and registered after three years in England. I was still registered in 2022 and working part time in my registered role. In many ways I became the average man in the street, or after my return, the average guy in the pub. I more or less forgot about my role in India, and even felt vaguely embarrassed by it all, and did not disclose to hardly anyone that I had spent ten years in India!

I enjoyed alcohol, TV, movies, fish and chips, parties and discos. I caught up with my missed youthful years! A wide range of normal activities and interests were pursued.

I immigrated to New Zealand, but also in the 80’s had a number of years living in Europe, just traveling around in Spain, France and Andorra, after inheriting a small amount of money. Life was cheap there then and for minimal outlay I was able to spend a whole winter season in Andorra and the Pyrenees mountains skiing.

I did think about my yoga practices occasionally from time to time and also remembered my mantras: the sacred words that I had been initiated into in India. Occasionally I would have periods where my inner meditations would be quite pronounced, although essentially I carried on my routine of whatever I was into the time. Eventually I began again to accept that the spiritual aspect of my life, if not immediately so, was going to be of major importance to me at some point.

In 1985 I wrote my book English-Man, Beggar-Man, Holy-Man, about my journey to India and ten years life there. At the same time I embarked on work, career, marriage, getting money and possessions, driving a car, and re-inventing my love of watching live music bands playing in pubs. I dropped my monk identity, but I never lost my eastern philosophy, even when it was mainly subtly buried somewhere.

This writing, brings past into my present spiritual space: the Goddess inspired learning and teaching space.

The Challenge

Now as we continue the spiritual journey we find ourselves in a place where we may not need all the same signposts, because we have arrived where we want to be, or we have found a way to know where we are going. At this point we may well not need the references of culture, family, and work, to define ourselves. This may seem scary, may feel like withdrawal, or a loss, but it is actually a new opportunity to have more, not less.

Before the Big Bang: “In the beginning there was the Word”.

If you stay with the sacred sounds, you’re connected with all the molecules in the universe, and are enlightened as a realized human within the milieu that is life. Yes there is suffering, pain, and struggle, but that is life.

Realization is the acceptance of life as it is, as a Divine Creation at all times and for all purposes. We at all times are part of the Divine Creation, just as a drop of water is the same water as in the sea. This is not religion: just what could be the norm of life!

Humans have added all the accoutrements of religions and spiritual pathways to the Divine Presence, which is the same for all, regardless of what human add to It. You can believe that there are multiple gods, different gods, and/or it’s possible to have one “better” God than another, and so forth. (As well as being monotheistic).

So, the spiritual practice is being on a pathway that leaves behind the old, and gets the understanding that the body is just: “compartments and bits and pieces”. Separate seemingly from the Cosmic Reality, yet actually not separate.

Where humans have a major strength, it is in announcing ones essential: “Divineness not divine-mess”! With this strength it becomes possible to divert from, go around, go through, and go over all the human weaknesses, including addictions, mental health problems, relationship distress, and physical sickness. Even financial distress. (Or especially financial distress).

This is not a minor undertaking of course.

Turning everything upside down on its head, opens the individual to unlimited potential. The ego still wants to have a sway and say, “no, no”. This is my job, this is my partner, this is my car, etc. etc.

We can move above the level of identification and limitation and find the Truth and Reality. We can’t abandon reality, but rather need to work through it, with it, and understand it. Such that it is not ones essential self that is in the way, but ones ego based life.

So, it’s not possible then to say that anyone is ultimately bad, or hard to say something is anything as other than a part of that One Unity. Self-centered judgment is usually based on ego preferences! In saying I am not part of the Divine, I will then need constant help, support, and opportunities to get what I can or grab in the struggle to survive. And I may or may not get this from this life – ever!

Maybe initially this view of the all-enveloping Divine is just an idea of the moment, whilst starting on some spiritual path or religious pursuit. These “elevated” ideas, this kind of knowledge and experience don’t usually arise of their own. Something happened to trigger this motivation. Then there can be incentive to follow the assistance of a suitable teacher or guru, or other contact that is more than “just human being”. Maybe strong feelings of discomfort are initially engendered about such spiritual dimensions as expressed here. It is the nature of the ego to seek safety in what is known.

At some point however life stops being “what you do for yourself”, and the Cosmic Will makes things happen, whether we want them or not. We see this in the chaos around in present times. If we don’t jump out of the burning house, we will go up in flames. (Unless we put out the fire).

If we don’t see the winds of change blowing and except them, we will suffer simply by being dragged into change unwillingly.

It is a choice then to take on board the teachings of the ancient sages and seers, find the sacred and our True place in the universe, align with the divine sounds, or engage in spiritual practices innumerable. It’s always as per individual choice, even if initially this only an impulse to get a taste of some spiritual teachings and pathways.

Even religious “persuasions” may have a role to play!