Auckland…..

After my return I started looking to resume some of my spiritual practice. I had been a follower of Siddha Yoga, but the Guru had passed away so I was somewhat hesitant to go along to the branch of the foundation in Auckland. Siddha Yoga refers to yoga that is taught by perfect souls to awaken the latent internal kundalini energy or shakti, and thus enable the practitioner to also become a siddha.

The kundalini is envisaged as the serpent power, dormant in the base of the spine until awakened. The teaching is that with the help of the right guru and mantras/meditation the shakti can be awakened and rises up the spine through the various centers or chakras, to eventually reach the highest point in the head, when the yogic nectar of blissful self-awareness is realized.

I also saw a poster advertising a week long meditation course very near to where I was living, and I decided to go as I knew that I always meditate better in a group situation. Somewhat egoistically, I wanted to see how I felt amongst total beginners, and also to find out what this particular group taught. The sessions were being run by the disciples of Shri Chinmoy, an interesting guru who lived in New York. He ran marathons, lifted very heavy weights, painted lots of pictures and at a very advanced stage of life was performing age record weight lifting.

The teachings within the group were very straightforward and uncomplicated. We were asked to try and simply stop all sorts of thoughts for five minutes or so, then we had to concentrate on breathing, draw in good clean air, and then expelled the “badness” within. Next we concentrated with open eyes on one of three objects on the table, including a picture or the guru. Surprisingly I found after so many years of no formal practice I meditated spontaneously and when I tried to block my thoughts, they stopped completely.

 I was not willing to state my attainment at the end of each meditation, when asked to describe how we have got on. Everyone was saying how frantic their minds had been. I said that my mind had felt much slowed, but that it did seem impossible to be thoughtless.

When I did the open eyed meditation I concentrated on the picture Shri Chinmoy. As I stared at the photo I became aware of a strong upsurge of kundalini energy and certain mantra repetitions occurred in my mind. This helped my swing back to a spiritual life, and prompted me to get in touch with the Siddha Yoga group.

I enjoyed my four, weekly sessions with the Chinmoy group. I felt that they put their material over simply, but ably and I saw that some of the new students were benefiting quickly. At the end of the sessions everyone was told that they would have to enroll, to continue further.

This entailed filling up the form and having a Polaroid picture taken. The picture would be sent to the guru in New York, where he would meditate on the new student through the photo and guide them in the future meditations. Not all students were to be accepted we were told, but those who were rejected would be guided in other suitable directions.

The idea of not being able to continue with this group without enrollment did not appeal to me. I am critical about religion or spiritual groups when they are not open and free or allow unimpeded participation without pressure.

Although most churches, temples, guru, and groups that I have been involved don’t stipulate immediate “enrolment”, I know that they all tend to seek some form of commitment eventuality. Also the meditation and yoga groups derived from India can be seen as part of the Hindu religion, though a lot of the followers would not want to see themselves as Hindus.

For myself I am Multi-faith so this issue is irrelevant, and I have followed whatever I wanted, and was not swayed by sales techniques of the proponents of whatever group or cult was being promoted. Make no mistake though, yoga with mantras gurus, kundalini, and chakras, are all basically part of the Hindu religion, even when they have been watered down and sanitized to meet a secular Western market. Philosophies, religious and spiritual practices should not be grabbed to become the property of any group or sect, and channeled into moneymaking enterprises. Due recognition of their source is good.

Keystone phrases.

Firstly let’s take the word enlightenment

Delete!

Then the word realization or self-realization

Delete!

Why?

A lot of zeros have no value, but if the number one is place before the zeros then we have 1 million, (for six zeros).

I have a body I have a mind.

I have relationships, careers, and so forth plus my spiritual bit as the soul.

My spiritual beliefs may be giving me a sense of being enlightened but remember this word is not in favor.

I have recovered or am in recovery from mental health, addictions, physical issues, relationship issues, career issues.

I can use the word “in recovery” because this is the case as long as I have a body and mind.

I am where I am now due to strong effort‘s: searching and learning.

The spiritual practices led me to a space, a Higher Room, from where I was able to connect with my strengths and resilience, with which I could achieve my recovered/recovery status. (Really about recovery from enmeshment in Maya).

We need a new word then which encompasses “perfection”, that is spiritual, (and religious if you really need it), but also acknowledges worldly, physical and mental “perfection.”

Perfection here is a sense of confidence, capability, and ability to resolve life issues as far as realistically possible, and to feel fully spiritually developed (or fully immersed in the spiritual journey).

It’s a place where all the issues of, Life and the Universe, have been re-identified into the Divine Truth for the human in individual form. With the personality intact! Fears are resolved and individual can sit in their own Divine Space, Higher Power/room

Technically then what happens is simply the ongoing experiences of life which happen automatically over the course of time, as karma outcomes.

That realistically enlightened individual no longer acts to get, make, achieve, but rather will experience, (the results of past actions). Teaching or service to other may still take place as per one Deity inspired influence

My new phrase then is: Practical Enlightenment.

Also I like Realistic Realization

Now this is a sense of being, simply experiencing life, (as if the train ran out of fuel but keeps on roiling).

This is what is happening to one, around one, automatically as a result of past actions

It doesn’t mean the person doesn’t shower or eat etc. because these are also activities set up previously to perpetuate the life lived, and thus “roll” automatically.

It does not mean one doesn’t go to work, or doesn’t remain in the marriage or other relationships.

Again these are set up and continue at their own pace under their own steam unless of course they spontaneously, naturally drop away.

There is no striving either to change things the way they are they are

It is as it is

But there is no issue, no complaint, no fear, no anxiety, or regret.

This is Practical Enlightenment and Realistic Enlightenment.

Therefore I write a reflection of what happened to me in my journey through life which was in its foundation a spiritual journey combined with, entwined with, the realities of life, relationships work, money, and whatever comes under the heading:

Life and the Universe.

Then throughout the life experience comes spiritual reflection and awareness, entwined and connected.

Generated through the influence: Goddess inspired…..

Auckland …..

After group sessions with Chinmoy meditation, I got in touch with the Siddha Yoga center in Auckland and began to attend their chanting a meditation sessions. They had a permanent hall installed with photos of Swami Mucktananda, (deceased) and the guru who succeeded him, Gurumayi, the “Hollywood guru”. These photos formed the temple images for worship, and indeed use of photos/pictures for worship is common in Hinduism.

The photos are taken as representing the guru who thus still “leads” the congregation and is envisioned as sitting at the front of the devotees, who seek to imbibe the atmosphere of the guru’s Shakti whilst chanting are meditating.

I found the atmosphere similar to the atmosphere I felt way back in 1972 when I stayed ten months in the ashram in India. There was a strong feeling of something in the air, hard to explain, but it was easy to meditate and chant, (the Hindu equivalent of hymns), in the peaceful atmosphere of the center. For Westerners, Hindu derived worship is not always so palatable even amongst the followers, though it’s part of the package that comes with the Eastern guru.

 I did find the chanting and other ceremonial activities to be uplifting, though I guess that the permanent followers of the center probably got more out of it than I did. I did find also my thoughts were positive about the new guru, and also I liked the meditation methods, including watching the thoughts and remaining in the true state as their witness. This is: “I am not the mind and body but the witness of all my activities and thoughts”.

The main pathway of this center though is Siddha Yoga, and the Shaktipaat of the guru. By devotion to and focus on the guru, one receives the shakti that enters the devotee downwards into the chakras and awakens the kundalini. In India this was very obvious & promoted heavily at the ashram. Devotees would go into trances, dance, and engage in bodily writhing and other manifestations, consequences of receiving the shakti. When I first went to the ashram, outside of Mumbai, I thought it was “all a load of rubbish”!

After several weeks in the ashram and some brief darshans, (being in the gurus presence), I found myself dancing ecstatically and involuntarily. That is why Swami Muktanand became so famous in the West, and he set up centers around the world. People would come to him, and without even accepting him as their guru, would begin to have the bodily manifestations of “kundalini arising”. I have never seen anything like it since, and certainly not on a mass level. Fascinating!

For a while the Siddha Yoga Foundation was a major player in the world of East meets West spiritual organizations. Unfortunately Swami Muktananda, when in his 70,s, attracted a lot of negative press, due to the discovery of his sexual activities with young devotee girls! Not sure what happened there, but I had by then moved on from that organization as a source of inspiration for my spiritual journey.

The people I were living with at the time were part of a somewhat different group, although connected. The guru of the group was called then Da Love Ananda. He had been a follower initiated by Swami Muktananda, and went off separately to form his own organization in America. He also became very famous for some quite negative reasons, but also produced a large volume of works which I found very interesting.

I maintained my connection with that group quite a few years to come, as I was also had friendship connections with some members of the group. I never joined up but I did enjoy going to the events from time to time and I actually got a lot out of dipping in an out of selected works and reading what their guru said. I did not accept his writings where he just wrote profusely that he was the only means for anyone’s salvation. (He called his method, “only by me, through me”). It was a bit like Christ saying one could only come to the father through him. My multi-faith view sees this as limiting the Truth.

Over the next ten years and more I visited various groups for a while, explored Bahaism, and started to resume some of my connection to the Anglican Church. A close family friend encouraged me to attend some rather more evangelical Christian events, often in very large very well attended venues, where they had bands and hymns were on screens.

Not really my “cup of tea”.

Over 30 years I developed a habit of occasionally attending a Sunday service at the Auckland Anglican Cathedral, or other venues if overseas, where I receive Holy Communion. I enjoy the ceremonials, the liturgy, and the choir. I see Jesus Christ as a holy guru worthy of my deepest respect. This is not my main spiritual path way, and I have no concerns about what others think, as I am Multi-Faith, and I do what I want in terms of my own spiritual journey. That is my business and I have no time whatsoever for any form of fundamentalism, or even religious people trying to tell me that their religion, or belief, is the only way. Equally I totally accept what others follow or believe in.

The years from 1990 to 2000 were taken up by my roles on a whole as a husband, a father and with my psychiatric nursing career. (Possibly material for another book)!

This era took me out to the age of fifty plus.

During this period I struggled at times with depression, anxiety, and alcohol, although essentially I was quite functional. My spiritual practices remained very important to me, but at times became over-shadowed by my struggle to maintain a grip on stability at all levels.

I realize now how I became spiritual in the first place. Because I struggle with life and it seems that the more I struggle and fail, the more spiritual I become or rather the more desperate! I also had a problem with living life on life’s terms & have always had an inner urge to “run”, (away). This desperation, looking back had been with me since the age of 11 when I believe I became clinically depressed.

I have noted that my time in India may have been extended due to a clinical chronic depression, of which I was not aware, but which kept me in place as a monk for so many years. My real journey then has not been only about being spiritual, rather about overcoming, the experience of being a human being, who was struggling in many ways. In time I had some success at all levels, including mental and psychic, so that I could be spiritually realized and humanly realized.

This is where I am now: being in Practical Enlightenment (or Realistic Realization). This state or stance has taken me more than 40 years since leaving India to obtain. It has taken me years of struggling with depression, alcohol or addictive type behaviors, and trying multiple therapeutic modalities, as well medications.

It is taken me forty years to understand that I carry with me an underlying dysthymic depression, (a chronic low mood disposition or even personality).

I have learnt that I could manage my mood most of the time very successfully with certain natural medication‘s. Also I have understood that I have susceptibility to severe attacks of depression, but it’s only in the last five years that I have realized that the severity is now seasonal. This seasonal affective disorder, (S.A.D.), I have successfully managed so that I can function well and thrive as a human being whether or not I have a spiritual or religious practice

I have also realized that I always drank alcohol when depressed beyond a certain point, as I then no longer cared to live any more. By drinking over some years as a medication solution, I became quite naturally dependent. Also when severely depressed, I understand that I can become dependent on anything that can take away the pain and suffering.

Now I have recourse to a very small amount of a specific medication that gives benefits in S.A.D. (only if needed), plus light therapy, and that allows me to overcome low mood during the winter. Plus the addition of herbal adaptogens at other times enables me to remain in a stable physical and mental space at all times. (I had to research what the top expert’s in America recommend for S.A.D., and push to get this for myself in New Zealand). However it is taken me many years to find exactly what works for me and what works for me may not work for someone else. At the time of writing, I work in the mental health field as a registered nurse, and as a professional I know that I can’t just pass on what works for me to some of the people I work with. However I can pass on, in my writings, the spiritual activities which have given me the spiritual enlightenment part of my being.