Chap 6

Paramhansa Ganesh Giri

Ganesh Giri is my name as a swami, or holy-man.

This was the name I used in India and that time is written about in my previous books.

I have learnt that I don’t need to justify why I would want to be in a certain spiritual space with a certain spiritual identity

That identity is both enmeshed in my reality as an English man called Raymond and as a monk in India.

I am trending towards identifying again with the holy man persona at this time, because I’m seeing more and more that we are all Divine as well as human. Why not also have a spiritual name?

I just had a long run of forty plus years in the Western world with an identity mostly as a “European New Zealander”, (as per the cultural line in the census forms).

Also after all, Ganesh Giri only got a few years of use! So, this is a claim of independence based on my search for release from all the attachments.

These attachments do not go away except that in the holy man identity they are covered over by the light of Truth, whereas in the Englishman identity the Light is covered over by the attachments.

This dual identity seems to me to be a better deal and idea for the future or in the long run.

I like the idea of a heavenly kingdom even if it’s not somewhere I  recognize easily, as long as I feel it’s more present and attainable in the moment to moment.

This is identity made at a higher level as something that I am party to by Divine Grace coming down into my life, as I rise up to the Higher Rooms through self-surrender.

This is a wonderful creation then, where the Cosmic Conscious can then fully manifest in me through the grace of the Divine Goddess

My tendency as a human has been to throw it away and replace it with trash!

The Giri part of my name means “mountain”. This is the place I am sitting wherever the body is, and represents my journey. (As in going up the mountain).

And in this identity I am on the peak, and look down on my small ego personality

Even so at times the surroundings seem precarious and steep.

Luckily as a Capricorn I have am also a mountain goat and thus well equipped for the terrain!

Perhaps this was a design from my Deity to me as my birthday gift.

I feel safe, but knowing that if I do go back down, I go back into my fears, anxieties and depressions.

Or worse maybe?

The days of should and must seem to be below the clouds which shroud the lower slopes.

Historical data leads to historical expectations, but I need to refrain from probing more than one day at a time. The historical future is the hysterical future!

No more prescriptions for life let alone for medication. The new life is not a new consciousness but rather an acceptance of consciousness as it really is.

Acceptance of myself as it really should be, as one investing in Truth.

Is this not freedom?

As it is about being and not doing, I am released from the need to prove that I am indeed a Giri, the mountain man or rather the Giribaba as the “old” wise man on the mountain.

I don’t need to sit there cross-legged in ochre robes because the first part of my given name from my holy man days is Ganesh.

Previous writings have talked about Gunas, the qualities of nature, and Ganesh simply means Lord of the Gunas, (thus implying control over the human nature of life).

As it is the qualities of nature that function in all life at all times, those qualities never the less do not impinge on the True Self of consciousness, which is transcendental.

Consciousness is the witness of all, and all means whatever we are up to.

This could mean technically, theoretically, that it is ok to indulgence in less than pure activities.

I know though that the ego personality with the defects of character wants to remain wallowing in addiction, depression anxiety and fear, which are engendered by live with the darker qualities for nature. (Tamasic and Rajasic).

All the things that bring fun and enjoyment are not necessarily benefiting any of us.

Nevertheless we can’t and we don’t want to be living a boring colorless life with no fun.

Therefore the spiritual changes occurring must be naturally easy and be what is desired, (if those changes are to stick).

This is why it’s easier to wander along the flat then to start climbing up a mountain

It’s hard work going up the slopes and the further up we get away from civilization the less amenities we find.

In India some of the yogis I found on mountains lived a very sparse life.

They may had have had tea leaves, and collected water from springs

But if you wanted milk in your tea you’re out of luck.

Don’t even ask for a cappuccino!

Divine grace again!

So there is some renunciation or giving, up but again it has to be by choice, and something that comes natural and it fairly easily until it becomes ingrained,

Yes we think that we need this or that to be safe, or to be functional, and yes we will probably be saying this even when we’re on the peak of the mountain.

Perhaps this is why even angels sometimes fall from grace!

The thing to remember is that living at a higher level and in a higher vibration brings its own fun. Its own bliss

Its own sanity, and its own peace

Having imbibed of this enough one will forget about the lower pleasures, or they will seek to cease to be so desirable, or ceased to command so much attention.

The robes will not be ochre, but they will be new garments and the old garments of fear will be thrown aside.

The light of truth makes this transformation and when the going seems too tough, then and often then, we begin to perceive the flow of Divine Grace.

The Divine Grace lift this up and completes our journey for us when we are unable to do so. We live with the illusion of freedom, and believe that we have to do certain things to make sure we have enough to eat and to survive.

We all have debts, of some sort, but running from our previous experiences will make sure exhaustion, (of running away), leads to more exhaustion

This is why some scriptures talk about redemption and being lifted up. This however occurs when there is surrender, and when there is choice to know one’s True Self, accompanied by a willingness to act to make this so.

As I write now in my 70’s I can look at my wrinkles, I can experience more tiredness and wonder about all I have done or rather not done.

However the Divine Grace has remained, and I can understand myself as beyond all of this. Certainly I can understand my identity as the “lord of the qualities of nature who lives as the mountain man”. Added to that is not the prefix or title of swami, but Paramahansa.  A great swan!

(Just as the swan floats on water so the Paramhansa floats on Samsara*, without getting “wet”). Add to that the mountain goat that is the Capricorn.

* Samsara (a Sanskrit word literally meaning “continuous flow”) is the repeating cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth (reincarnation) within Hinduism, Buddhism, Bön and Jainism.

So I feel justified in being joyful and thankful and grateful!