This is about a “Strengths” approach. It’s used therapeutically as a means to develop resilience and formulate goals/ actions to enhance the well-being journey. We are looking at a range of issues related to stress and distress regarding the passage through life. The exercise is intended to assist in a practical mental well-being sense but also later to feed into the Journey to Self-Realisation. Here though it’s about driving more positive approaches to life problems. which comes from viewpoint of focusing on what is right with me, as opposed to what is wrong with me. It’s about moving on from to problems, but not denying them.

This approach can be applied to all sorts of health issues, primarily to help cope in the longer term with any issues that may loosely fit into the mental well-being basket.

The start point is, as per previously blogs in tis series, is to recognise problematic thoughts and feelings that lead to negative emotions and actions, which make things worse in the long run. We want to move forward having found clarity perhaps through the previous Defusion exercise. Now simply accept those memories, worries and fears, without getting caught up in them. Sounds good impact on paper! However, but we need to do something in here that puts us into a different head space and activity. Like entering room and putting on the light, which takes us out of darkness. We want to live in our Higher Rooms, to function on a Higher Level than we have been. Doing so will circumvent and push back all that negative background “noise: that we so often hang onto.

It’s good to use our strengths and values to help every day functioning, as well as help us get past some of our so-called mental distress. This can include stress and struggle – with relationships, work and all the components of our everyday business. We can then move into a better space where we need less of counselling/therapy and more of mentoring/guidance, as we seek to hitch up to positive goals and actions. (The goal of this exercise).

The therapy journey later after getting to the “end” point of this exercise, is to then apply it with regard to our Self-Realisation Journey. We turn what we learn into the domain of spiritual endeavor or purposeful, or intentional development.

First, however, we will start the exercise.

Think of one strength you have – initially. (Ideally do this for three strengths).

 On the top of a sheet of paper write it down in this in a simple sentence. An example would be: I am good at helping others. Or: I can keep my cool and not over react to others stuff. (This is the example I will use later).

Underneath that write down when you used that strength last.

You don’t need to go into detail, because you remember that last week you helped an old lady/gent across the road. Just write down, last week. Just remember the details.

Underneath that that statement you write: How I want to improve this strength. You’re not going to answer that immediately, as we’re just going to write it down first. We are going to try and work out some things you can do to develop this strength by looking at addressing some other issues first.

For this we will put three words on the the left-hand side of the paper. At the top is the word:  Values. Under that is the word: Coping, and under that is the word: Resilience.

Now match your strength to your Values. Does it match? It should. Can you say this strength is something you believe in and matters to you? This strength is also a value from somewhere. Like did your parents imbue you with this? Or you learnt that this is a good way to do things. Or some of your life experiences have given you the view that this is one of my values. A strength such I am good at helping others might drive a value that I should serve or help others, or engage in altruistic behavior. Those in helping professions will profess such values, we hope.

The word Coping relates to your value and strength. Say you used your keeping cool strength within an argument or discussion that may have got a bit messy otherwise. Did using that strength help you cope with the situation? It’s a good outcome if so, as at least you have felt you’re not out of control with your emotions. Maybe you did get irritable underneath? (However you’re dealing with it).

Below, the word we want to look at is Resilience.

It may be debatable whether you have this or not, because sometimes you might not quite get it right or you might lose your rag a bit, and then you weren’t doing the coping or using the strength very well. (I can keep my cool). We want to get to resilience, which is long-term and ideally works, every time. You could be using your strengths always, but that kind of makes it draconian or compulsory. Yet we want to grow and develop that strength so that it comes to enhance resilience well as be a value. Your values align with your strengths and then deliver better coping and resilience.

Do this with three strengths and go through all the steps.

We want to get to goals and actions that come out those three strengths. Now you can focus on matching your Resilience tasks with goals and actions. (How will I improve and develop my strength)? Hopefully now we have more clarity to proceed. Then the exercise really begins!

By doing this you kind of forget the focus on what the problems are, and what the problem is making me do in a negative way. You are focusing on using your strengths so you’re putting yourself into the light more, which automatically pushes the darkness to one side. So you’re doing something that is a bit superhuman, if you like. You can call it that because many people don’t work at this kind of level. Many people just get into the argument and the difficulties with the problems and create more problems. Normal human behaviour!

It’s good if: I can keep my cool and not over react to others stuff. To be able to discuss things with sanity, is a better way rather than the old way of getting argumentative.

Okay so we got a goal out of it? (I will be less argumentative). It’s what are you doing that improves your life in the long run. What can you do more of that should change for the better? You are getting to the point of devising goals, then actions can follow. You should be giving yourself a pat on the back or some sort of mental reward, if you are doing this, as that helps you to do more. You’re getting a dopamine hit. This dopamine business is about neurochemicals in the brain that you get also from “drugs” or doing something pleasurable.

What about other actions you can take?  This is the tricky one as I don’t know what the other goals might be in your head now. It may help here to get some feedback from somebody else. Your counsellor/therapist or maybe a somebody who is more of a mentor or advisor. A “friend” even. It’s not rocket science, as you’ve got a handle on what the issues are, and what you are doing to develop strengths and values.

You can do all this for developing your strengths into skills. Perhaps talk to somebody who has got those skills you desire, who can teach those skills. Would a supportive friend be sufficient? If you don’t really like talking to somebody who is kind of a supportive friend, then it comes back to having some more professional person involved. Maybe you might want to look at another two strengths, then the skills, and you’ve got a bit of a package. (To get support or guidance for).

I’m coming from that life journey viewpoint, where we don’t get bogged down in the past, and the problems and suffering from the actions we took so far. We have a focus on: “what am I doing now”. That’s going to make things better – improve things. It goes for physical problems too. I know that as we get older we want to focus on what’s wrong and what can somebody else can “fix” – like the doctor. The strength is being able to say: “I’m going to focus on what I can fix. What I can do and know what I can’t do”. I might get some support or something from somewhere else, and get some advice, including medical. But there’s a bit more to it than that, and that’s going with our strengths. Artists paint with the paintbrushes in the mouth or feet if they have no arms. Ultimately the strengths perspective is accepting what’s going on with you and where you’re at, but not beating yourself up. Just going around/over/under the difficulty or problem. We want to just move into what we can do – not what we can’t do.

Next: Advanced Therapeutic practice & the Journey onward to the Higher Levels………..